Back to Basics...

I've been reflecting on my 20’s a lot lately. I’m about to turn 30 in October and I’m trying to figure out what the next steps for my life should be. My husband and I see eye to eye on almost everything; not that we’re perfect but it’s nice to have the same values.

I failed a lot in my early 20’s. A lot a lot!

I spent the better half of my 20’s trying to restore myself from the inside out. A very long time ago I stopped caring about what people thought of me. I mean, for the most part. I think all of us can agree that there’s at least a teensy bit of interest on that subject but for the most part – I never care what people think of me, my appearance, or my choices. I am confident enough to know that more often than not my choices are healthy, positive, and respectful.

It’s easy for me to spot ingenuity.

I know who my friends are. I know who my foes are. I know who the phonies are too. I don’t need to point any of those people out. They all know who they are and I’m fine with leaving it at that. In my recent reflective thoughts I've decided that, in my 30’s, I will spend more time making memories with the people I love…and the people who love ME!

In my 30’s my plan is to go back to basics. Some people aspire to be famous. Some work themselves silly for material things such as clothes, cars, expensive vacations, and other “things” and while I wouldn't dare even dream to condemn the friends that I have for desiring those things; it’s just not for me. It’s not right, wrong, or indifferent. Let’s not get crazy. I’m not planning to live in a cardboard box and eat government cheese.

I just want to focus on a more wholesome lifestyle.

Admittedly, I’m not quite sure what that looks like down to the minute detail but I see the bigger picture and I like it. I suppose the smaller details will come to me in time, with trial and error, the organic way. Yes, please!

I will say “no” more often.

I've already begun this trend and for those of you who have followed me the last several years, you’ll know that for me to say “no” is almost unheard of. The truth is I’m tired. I’ll warn you now. I’m going to start being that last minute RSVP friend. To tell you the truth, I don’t want to be expected to show up, help out, or plan/organize/execute anything.  Note: That doesn't mean I won’t do those things. I just don’t want to be expected. There’s a huge difference there.

I’m fixing what is broken.

Any one of you that has suffered any type of abuse (physical, mental, verbal, etc) can attest to this – it takes a really long fricken time to mend those wounds. Some may be self-inflicted and some may be brought on by some asshole. I've got to deal with both once and for all.

When I wake up I need to feel like my slate is clean.

I've spent too much time saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, reacting the wrong way, internalizing everything, self-medicating with food, and beating myself up. I need to let that go. Easier said than done but it’s possible and I've got an entire decade to peel back those layers and make myself whole again.

I’m incredibly blessed and I know it.

I've got a tremendous amount of good in my life. I know that. I’m blessed to have that. Nobody can take that away from me. Neener neener! I have a “job” that lets me help others Every. Single. Day. The people I interact with inspire me on the daily. It’s unsolicited inspiration, too. It comes so naturally. It’s empowering. I have a family you couldn't get me to trade for anything in this world. I love my family! My friends understand me, they encourage me, they make me laugh, and I really LOVE to laugh. My husband is my best friend. If these walls could talk…oh boy! We laugh and joke with each other constantly. There’s not a day that goes by that we’re not having a meaningful conversation and laughing hysterically. No, we’re not perfect. Yes, we argue. No, I wouldn't trade him for ANYONE!

This blog isn't about me being emo.

This blog is about the epiphanies I have been having lately and since I’m such a “sharer” I thought I’d put these thoughts out there for you to do with them what you want. Back to my original thought; I want my 30’s to be about Back to Basics. I will try new recipes. I will spend an entire weekend making all those cute things I pinned (they won’t come out the same as they look online but that’s not what’s important). I will keep my calendar clear and pop in for friends events if I’m free from laying around watching TV, having dates with my husband, not doing crafts, not reading, etc.

This sounds like I’m leaving everyone behind.

Not at all. As I said before, I want my 30’s to be about making memories with people I love but in order for me to do that I need to be in a good place. I can’t be running around like a crazy person all the time anymore. I just won’t do it. That said, I think it’ll mean more if I can drive to one of my best gal pals house in Elma (a REALLY long way from my house) to sit and visit for the day. I won’t just be seeing her for an event and then rushing off to another event.

Quality over quantity.

So there ya have it! Clear as mud, right? I once dreaded turning 30. I couldn't believe I was hitting that milestone and I complained at every chance I got. Then, a beautiful young lady said that her only goal was to make it to 30 years old. She was battled stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Her name was Bridget and she passed away on April 4^, 2013. July 16^th would have been her 30^th birthday. Nobody should ever pray to make it to such a young age. I realized I had wasted the beginning of my 20’s on stupidity and now, at 29, I look back and see how much personal growth I've had this decade. Between becoming a wife, a full time student, embarking on the ever-amazing and life changing 3-Day, taking care of my mom through her heroic battle with breast cancer (and deploy to the Middle East FOUR times), watching my “little” brother proudly serve our country, seeing my nieces and nephews grow faster than I’d like, watching my friends find their place in this world (and in my heart), and obtaining the job of a lifetime late last year, I have grown in so many ways. Everyone has taught me a valuable lesson (or two). Each of you matter to me in some way or another. If you didn't, you wouldn't be reading this.

On October 26^th I will turn 30. It’s all about Back to Basics.