Down, way down

You’re like a gigantic anchor that weighs a million pounds, and you have a hook that always pierces my heart, mind, and soul. You, the anchor, drag me down to the surface of the ocean, way, way down to the very deep, dark bottom of the sea. Down there it’s cold, blind, and lonely. This place is full of unforgiving judgment, disappointment, and sadness. Down, way down.

Attached to your hook, I am stuck, but I have an overwhelming desire to break free and swim back to the top. At the top is where I can be above water, take a deep breath, and escape the darkness of you, the anchor, which pulls me down, way down.

Try as might, I am desperate to pull away, but I keep paddling and kicking like an eager puppy. For every 10,000 flutters I move a measly inch. I’m still stuck, still hooked by you, this anchor that pulls me down, way down.

I’ve been here before a time or two, I’m sorry to say. Somehow I manage to break the surface after what seems like a million years of paddling back up to the top. I shatter through the waterline, and I flail my arms and each time a lifeboat appears, and it rescues me from the place of darkness; the place that’s down, way down.

Here I am again, anchored to the bottom. The hook is dug deep into my heart, mind, and soul, and once again I must find the strength of 10,000 flutters to explode through the waterline and hail my lifeboat. This time I need it to take me so far away that I forget that I was ever at the bottom of that sea. I need to be taken to a desert, where water is scarce, and the land is dry. Perhaps if I was there you couldn’t hook me and pull me down, way down.

If my feelings were a song this would be it. The lovely Sara Bareilles sings it beautifully.

http://youtu.be/A_U6iSAn_fY